


And So Are You

by StellarLibraryLady



Series: Trusting Hearts [3]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Bad Poetry, Bickering, Boys Being Boys, Boys Will Be Boys, Bragging, Doggeral Poetry, English Poets References, Friendship, Graphic Description, Humpty Dumpty Reference, Literary References, Lunch, M/M, Nursery Rhyme References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-01-02 05:09:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21156134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StellarLibraryLady/pseuds/StellarLibraryLady
Summary: The Enterprise guys try to keep their lunchtime chatter on an intellectual level, but it often mires down to more titillating topics.  Then Kirk and McCoy start bragging about the prowess of their mates.





	And So Are You

"Spock should like this," McCoy announced to the table as the four of them seated themselves for their noon meal together in the mess hall. He arranged his cutlery around his plate and placed his napkin in his lap to prolong the attention being on him. "I've got a literary challenge for us to explore while we eat." His face looked eager and ready for what came his way.

"Well, hey, I'm liking this already," Kirk chimed in as he agreed eagerly. Nothing he liked better than having intellectual stimulation while he was eating. He tasted his beef stew and found it to be worthy of his attention and stomach. This was going to be a perfect lunch!

"I thought that you would, Jim," McCoy said, knowing he had Kirk's backing. He wasn't too sure about the other two with them, but they tended to follow wherever he and Kirk led. And they better, since they were with relationships.

Jim Kirk felt real cozy. He was with his favorite components: food, friends, and fraternization. The fraternization was coming from the guy seated right beside him, the guy he'd brushed against so intimately as he'd seated himself, the guy who was blushing shyly now because Kirk's leg was pressed up firmly against his, reminding him of memories of so many nights behind them and the promise of so many nights ahead of them. The guy who had two loves in his life: Jim Kirk and the Enterprise. The guy who could stroke both of his loves to life with his gentle, yet masterful hands. The guy who wished he could touch Jim Kirk that way right now as much as Jim Kirk wanted to be touched that way.

"Have a good morning?" Kirk breathed close to Scotty's ear and was rewarded as he watched Scotty shiver from Kirk's breath on his face and neck.

"Aye, I did, Captain. And you?"

"Just great. It felt like our grand lady was being handled masterfully as she was being driven by a man who loved her," Kirk said softly, but wistfully. "Made me jealous of what was being done to her down below in the Engine Room. IF, you know what I mean." He allowed his eyes to wander over the man beside him. To many, Scotty wasn't that good looking. But to James T. Kirk, he was a god. And James T. Kirk liked what that god could do to him when they were alone in the dark.

And Montgomery Scott full well knew just what he could do to Jim Kirk with his hands and his body. Kirk didn't stint letting Scotty know how much he was appreciated. Other things might be a problem with them, but there were never any problems that arose from their time in bed together. "Aye," Scotty managed to mumble before shooting a look at Kirk that crackled between them.

"I wanted to keep our dining conversation on higher levels than it sometimes is," McCoy continued, trying to get Kirk's attention back from the love affair he was having with Scotty at the moment. "That's why I picked literature and how it can relate to our lives."

"Well, that should be intellectually stimulating, don't you believe so, Spock?" Kirk asked, picking up the thread of McCoy's narrative as he broke his concentration on Scotty and decided to save it for the bedroom. Besides, Kirk had to be McCoy's straight man, because it looked like Spock wasn't going to rise to McCoy's bait. And that was odd because McCoy was being vague enough that what he was proposing should be bound to trigger Spock's curiosity.

"Just as long as Dr. McCoy does not begin quoting nursery rhymes and acting like they are great poetry, I shall not object."

"I am not going to do that, so there," McCoy retaliated.

"And I wish it to be known that I am not the least bit interested in what happened to Humpty Dumpty after he had his great fall," Spock declared rather airily. "Nor am I waiting with bated breath to learn why an egg was sitting on a wall in the first place." He checked his dining companions for any challenges from them. When none came, he figured that was the end of that particular discussion.

McCoy wasn't finished with him, however. "But surely you know that a lot of the most famous English nursery rhymes reflect current history and the political atmosphere of the times in which they were written."

"I am well aware of that, Doctor. Please do not insult me by saying that I was unaware of that historical fact."

"No, I'm gonna illustrate how poetry can be used in connection to us right now, here today," McCoy said, throwing out more bait.

So the lunch topic had turned poetic, but Jim Kirk didn’t mind as long as it distracted him from the cares and concerns of command. He would encourage anything to keep the mindless chatter going even though Scotty probably had his mind deep in the bowels of the Enterprise's engines and Spock had assumed the countenance of one displeased by what he was hearing. Kirk knew that Spock equated poetry with the works of the great English masters: Shakespeare and Milton, perhaps Donne and Spenser. If need be, he would expand his list to include the Romantic poets: Byron, Shelley, and Keats because they had such a great influence on literature long past their own lives. And even though McCoy had a solid schooling and appreciation for great literature, he was known to resort to poetry that was on the level of doggerel just to aggravate Spock.

“How exactly does that work, Bones?” he asked as he shoveled in his beef stew. "Poetry as it relates to us?"

McCoy was eager to share as he bent forward so all at their table could hear him. “It's easy. Just put in the third line of this all-time favorite:

‘Roses are red,  
Violets are blue,  
Da-da da-da,  
And so are you.”

“Give us a ‘for instance,’” Kirk insisted as he took a big bite of a buttered biscuit. This could get good, he thought. McCoy could come up with the greatest stuff!

“Well, we could say 'Starships are great--"

"--and so are you," Scotty supplied. He loved the Enterprise. No wonder he could come up with something about a starship. Then he turned it around for McCoy's benefit. "How about, 'Sickbay is clean--" he suggested.

"And so are you," McCoy finished with a grin. "That's great, Scotty. Thanks." Then he got a mischievous grin. "Tell you what. Let's make this less general."

Uh oh, Kirk thought. This is where it gets personal. He must be setting Spock up. If it gets too pointed, I'll put a stop to it. In the meanwhile, I'll let it play out. Of course, Spock is no dummy. And McCoy would never hurt him. But he might, just might, needle him a little.

"For instance," McCoy continued when Kirk didn't stop him. "We could say to Spock: ‘Olives are green--”

“--and so are you,” Kirk finished. Sharp, but not too sharp, he'd decided.

“Quite witty,” Spock said to the good-natured laughter that bubbled up from their table. “Then I shall say to Dr. McCoy, ‘Comets are gassy--”

“--and so are you!” Kirk chortled. Spock had been ready in case McCoy stepped over a line! And I'm being Spock's straight man, Kirk decided, but I don't care! It was worth seeing McCoy's frustrated face.

"Okay," Kirk said in order to give McCoy an opportunity to get his feathers unruffled again. It also provided Spock with the chance to give McCoy a gentle, loving look that said that no malice was intended and for McCoy to return that look to the guy he couldn't live without. The love that flowed between Spock and McCoy was awfully difficult to miss. "How about this?" Kirk asked, taking advantage of all the honey-laden looks streaming across their dining room table. "Earthlings are sweet--"

"And so are you," Spock finished, but the only Earthing he was looking at was McCoy. And Kirk didn't mind at all.

“I have one,” Scotty said, looking at Kirk, caught up in Spock and McCoy's loving looks, too. “We’re so in love.” Then to Spock and McCoy he said a universal truth which they all recognized: “As are you two.”

“You changed the ending,” McCoy complained.

"Poetic license," Scotty supplied with a wink at Kirk, breaking the mood which needed to be broken. As any ten-year-old boy can inform anyone who wants to listen, that love stuff is just mushiness. Wouldn't that ten-year-old boy be amazed to learn that he owed his very existence to mushiness between his parents?

“Better not be eating too many of those biscuits, love,” Scotty remarked, noting the collection on Kirk’s plate. “You know where they settle, don’t you? The north end of a chicken flying south, and they will on you, also.”

“That sounds like something that McCoy would say!” Kirk protested as he was now the butt of the joke as the good-natured laughter chorused around him. “Besides, Scotty, I don’t know why you’re complaining. It just gives you more of me to love,” he said with languid eyes and a flirty smile.

“Aye,” Scotty noted with an upraised brow. “And don’t you know that I’m appreciative of every glorious inch of you I can get!”

“Funny,” Kirk mumbled around a mouthful of biscuit and stew. “That sounds more like a reason why I’m appreciative of you.” Then he beamed because he’d been such a naughty boy with what he'd just said.

McCoy even started to choke on his food because of Kirk's words, but Spock rubbed his back. Then McCoy swallowed nearly a glass of water to settle his coughing.

“Damn it, Kirk!” he complained with happy tears stinging his eyelids. “Warn me before you come up with zingers like that one again! You’ll be the death of me yet!”

“Funny, that’s what I’m always saying to Scotty. But he just informs me that what I am experiencing is just what the romantics call ‘a little death.’ Whatever it is, I highly recommend it. It’s quite stimulating. And,” he said with a fond look and a raised eyebrow at Scotty, “...quite relaxing. Puts me out like a light. I can sleep like a baby until it's time I, ah, need to get burped again.” He was such a bad boy, he thought again as he shoveled in more stew.

“Can’t beat what I’m getting at night,” McCoy blustered, wanting some equal time in the sexual innuendo department. After all, he had some damn good bragging rights, too. “The Vulcan can perform like an anvil striking on the innards of a cuckoo clock. When it comes to my prostate, he must be part coon dog. Finds it every time. Just keeps hitting it over and over again until I swear I'm gonna run outa orgasms. But then he strokes me real sweetlike again, and damn if I don't have another one in me. Only thing I know that can curl my hair and my toenails at the same time.” He looked pleased with himself for his comparison. “And makes me yodel like I’m coming in the Swiss Alps like a damn avalanche. It echoes and echoes and echoes. There’s times I think it’s never gonna end. But I just grab a hunk of green ass with both hands and hang on. Keeps him down close to me, too, where he can make some really nice fine points. IF you know what I mean!” He bent his head toward his plate and busied himself with shoveling beef stew into his waiting mouth. “Ain’t been disappointed yet. In fact, I’m generally quite exhausted by morning.”

“Really?” Kirk blustered back. “That’s all you’ve got? Or all that Spock’s got? Just all night? Well, let me tell you--” Kirk started as he leaned toward McCoy over their table, and McCoy hunkered toward him, too, with blazing eyes, ready to try to top Kirk's bragging with further stories of Spock's prowess.

Meanwhile, Spock and Scotty surveyed their squabbling partners as if they couldn't quite believe what they were seeing and hearing.

“I really have to find a table with more uplifting dinner table conversation,” Spock complained with a sigh to Scotty.

“Aye,” Scotty agreed. “But you and I have to be resting up, Mr. Spock, instead of wearing ourselves out with wandering all over the mess hall.”

“Oh?” Spock wanted to know with a frown. “How so?”

“So we can perform according to the caliber that those two are claiming we can perform.”

“I am in complete agreement with you, Mr. Scott. But I sometimes wonder if they are exaggerating for the other's benefit."

Scotty's eyes enlarged. "Sometimes?! Lad, if I performed the way I've been billed by the captain, I would have been buried a long time ago on some forgotten planetoid! Only Superman could perform the way those two are carrying on about, and I believe that even Superman would be flagging by this time!"

"Quite, Mr. Scott. But perhaps it is to our mutual benefit for our partners to believe all that they are saying about us."

"Aye, lad! You've made another good point!"

Spock leaned forward. "And it would be to our mutual benefit if sometimes we might intentionally flag a little and see how our partners could then stimulate us."

Scotty's eyes enlarged again. "Oh, Mr. Spock! You are a man after my own heart, so you are!"

Spock gave Scotty one of his rare smiles. But it was necessary that men with as much talent and responsibility as they had to be in league with each other. After all, they did not wish to disappoint their partners, no matter how exhausting their endeavors might prove to be.

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing of Star Trek, its characters, and/or its storylines.


End file.
